While you happen to’ve never disregarded a flight, you’re spending too powerful time in airports.

After I turn into a grad student at Berkeley, my advisor, Umesh Vazirani, loved to repeat this nugget of data to school students, company, and colleagues. In a single sentence, Umesh turn into communicating a total philosophy of lifestyles: be privy to the high-characterize bits. The squash player who runs help and forth to strive every shot, the student who’s never late with an project, the researcher who stalks an unimportant worry take care of Captain Ahab: all have succumbed to the tyranny of the low-characterize bit. They prefer to cling shut that, as in a randomized algorithm, occasional screw ups are the inevitable byproduct of a successful approach. While you happen to frequently use, you then’re doubtlessly doing one thing wicked.

Nonetheless, having dropped Umesh off at 8PM for an 8: 30 world flight, I will attest from personal abilities that he turn into talking about accurate air mosey besides.

I belief to be Umesh’s “Airport Legislation” on my technique to Australia, after I nearly disregarded my flight out of Heathrow, and then did omit the connection from Sydney to Brisbane, after expecting an hour in customs so that my baggage might perchance well per chance be sought for any contraband fruit or vegetables. I wondered: what other “Umeshisms” are able to be discovered? Here are the first four I came up with:

While you happen to never nick help yourself whereas shaving, you’re no longer shaving shut ample.

While you happen to’ve never been robbed, you’re spending too powerful time locking doorways.

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While you happen to’ve never been rejected, you’re no longer asking ample. (The best to assert, the toughest to take a look at.)

While you happen to’ve never regretted a blog entry, your blog is uninteresting.

As a tribute to Umesh, I hereby originate the comments allotment to a Top Umeshism Contest. The winner (as chosen by me) earns the lawful to position a ask to any ask, and then have me solution it on this blog, presumably after consulting with Umesh about the high-characterize bits. The nick help-off date is December 28, 2005, 11: 59PM EST. Limit three entries per person. Consist of your name and/or electronic mail.

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