From Belonging to Burnout, Five Years at Airbnb

Airbnb manufacturers itself as creating crew and fostering belonging. At the moment, venerable Airbnb tool engineer Sahil describes how “Airfam” ignores interior inequities amongst various workers and shuts down folk that quiz its tradition of overwork. Regardless of all of it, Sahil and coworkers built a generous crew in step with transparency and mutual admire.

The Worker’s Standpoint

By Sahil S.

Discovering a Residence

I’ve yearned to belong my entire life. Increasing up, I became as soon as excluded from communities that I saw others favorite in: my family became as soon as fragmented, I became as soon as bullied remote from Indian tradition, and I struggled to produce masculinity. Regardless of getting many relationships on paper, I erased myself to slot in. I never felt favorite.

I felt most treasure my legitimate self when I became as soon as building things. Work, I had been told by every Indian and American society, became as soon as core to my existence, and my pleasure for computing grew to turn into out to be highly employable. If I became as soon as precious to my employer, I’d luxuriate in the cash, prestige, and reason that certified my acceptance. I internalized that if I became as soon as precious, I could well well belong.

In 2016, two years into my career, I joined Airbnb. The firm’s mission became as soon as, and calm is, to “produce a world the save anyone can belong wherever.” To attain this mission, Airbnb championed the ability of crew, created by millions of hosts across the sector “opening their homes.” Silicon Valley handled the founders as visionaries for pursuing this type of humane – and lucrative – conception. Their vision seeped into the employee tradition. Lawful as the founders regarded as every host a stakeholder belonging to the Airbnb crew, the executives regarded every employee as a stakeholder belonging to the “Airfam,” empowered to produce contributions and form the tradition. I on the starting save gagged on the logo-colored Kool-Wait on, nonetheless I couldn’t ignore the optimism of the situation of job, its worldwide decor and vibrant skylight sharp us to forget limits and dispute about easiest prospects.

This perspective became as soon as especially factual for engineers. Our performance ratings were in step with, above all else, our ability to “luxuriate in our impact” to the industrial. No discipline became as soon as too substantial, no aim too ambitious, and we produced, produced, produced. The engineering crew became as soon as dedicated to the craft and welcomed me. I discovered mentors and role items overjoyed to produce tech that kept industrial booming and practices that kept the tradition huge. Being fragment of this crew became as soon as greater than correct work – through puny ways treasure social channels and pleased hours, substantial ways treasure wonderful eating and offsites at wineries, and the largest ways treasure friendships that shaped my mid-twenties in San Francisco. Here, I could well well thrive. If what I produced will be favorite by this crew, then per chance it could perhaps perhaps per chance well well accept me, too.

Burning the Candle at Both Ends

One lofty manifestation of Airbnb’s ambitions became as soon as its tradition of launches, the save we all sprinted in direction of a substantial press announcement. Three months into the job, I became as soon as put through my first birth. The BBC became as soon as planning to put up an article investigating our rising particular person story fraud charges. To preempt this article, our executives gathered my fiftyish particular person org into a “war room” and mandated a opinion of motion to “provide protection to the Airbnb crew.” I became as soon as alive to to be of service. For days, we worked leisurely till 2 or 3 AM, on occasion pulling all-nighters. We patched passe holes, built fresh defenses, and polished the actual person journey. We delivered a full bunch fresh aspects, reduced fraud charges, and enabled a a hit announcement to refute the BBC article. I had held my luxuriate in in the trenches, and as we clinked glasses of vodka, I felt favorite, even proud.

After the beginning, org leadership hosted a crew all-hands to luxuriate in an very gracious time the work and solution any questions. A passe records scientist asked: “We worked days in a row till 3 AM. Does the federal government crew understand the tension they put us beneath to voice something that can per chance well well’ve been done beneath a extra sensible timeline?” Handiest then did the collective fatigue in that room hit me too. For every feature we had shipped, the final rationale became as soon as that “the founders surely pick on this.” That chorus had exhausted me, in particular when my director told me in the needless of night that my highest priority became as soon as to produce a cursor cease blinking over a textfield. But one among Airbnb’s unofficial values became as soon as to “purchase correct intent,” and who became after I to quiz the intent of the executives. In accordance with that records scientist, leadership wired that “we’ve relayed that solutions, nonetheless this birth became as soon as foremost to the mission,” and encouraged us to purchase a whereas off to recharge. I became as soon as grateful to that records scientist for voicing our issues.

Peaceful, I foremost to perform even extra. As exhausted as I became as soon as, working through these nights had rewarded me with camaraderie and admire. To anyone craving usefulness, and with out caretaking tasks, it felt treasure an very gracious slash price. I volunteered to re-architect our most advanced anti-fraud particular person journey procedure, manage the on-call rotation, take part in the org-broad situation reliability rotation, habits interviews, drag for faculty recruiting, facilitate presentations on allyship, and increase employee useful resource teams. I volunteered for as many opportunities as I could well well on story of I felt exhilarated to luxuriate in my location in the crew. Leaning into this spirit paid off – the entirety I produced for the firm I bought back in titles, cash, and admire, and by these metrics, acceptance. I belonged.

Discovering Cracks in the Basis

In December 2018, I made up our minds to enroll in what is now called Airbnb.org, a social impact housing program for these displaced by crises much like natural mess ups or battle. Primarily based by designers, Airbnb exalted “product” roles – especially engineers, product managers, and designers. But as I built products for this program, I spotted the importance of buyer service, partnerships administration, policy, crew engagement, marketing, and many other roles. When the tech hit its limits, much like when Airbnb.org foremost to coordinate with governments and worldwide back businesses, or when an NGO associate couldn’t rating housing for survivors on the on-line situation, it became as soon as these unsung roles that made Airbnb.org (and Airbnb extra broadly) a hit.

On the opposite hand, Airbnb’s altruism didn’t align with its location of industrial insurance policies, and I began to stare disparities in my coworkers’ experiences. No longer lower than one-fourth of the Airbnb.org crew were contractors, and Airbnb worked with around 500 contractors in full. In many instances, it seemed treasure contractors were doing the work of a pudgy-time employee, nonetheless with fewer advantages, location of industrial privileges, and advancement opportunities. My contractor chums were frustrated with being kept in limbo – one week they would learn that they were going to be hired (“we are succesful of’t dispute about no longer having your expertise pudgy-time!”) and the next, be given a lukewarm non-solution (“we’ll luxuriate in to search out”). One weary colleague remarked “some of us are placing starting a family on back till we know if we’re getting employed.” Airbnb claimed that belonging also supposed having the psychological safety to “jabber excessive opinions,” nonetheless how could well well anyone surely feel gracious to dissent with their livelihoods in such precarity?

Contractors made up a puny proportion of Airbnb’s 7,000-plus crew, nonetheless I saw the gaps in our journey mirrored in each location. In sharing our salaries, I realized my non-product coworkers on occasion made 65% or decrease than me, despite having deep expertise and doing work equally essential as mine, if no longer extra so. On high of that, the non-product career ladder didn’t luxuriate in obvious expectations for advancement. “Airbnb fucked up my career enhance,” I heard. I became as soon as floored to listen to that the consumer service wage began at easiest $18 an hour, and hadn’t changed for seven years. I spotted employee useful resource crew leadership, a second job for some, became as soon as uncompensated. These material prerequisites bled into work-life – whereas some of us took Ubers to work and shopped at Barney’s, others maxed out bank cards or could well well easiest luxuriate in the funds for to live in the East Bay. And, of direction, I seen that BIPOC ladies experienced the compounding of these prerequisites. I couldn’t fathom the drain from microaggressions, code switching, and gatekeeping, which decrease across the product orgs, too.

Leaders preached that every employee became as soon as accountable for our tradition, and that had largely been factual for me: I became as soon as given a career ladder, a wage, and opportunities that made me surely feel empowered. Yet through assert messages, one-on-ones, and whispered conversations, I saw proof that the firm instituted barriers to empowerment and rewarded every of us very in a different way for our contributions. I struggled to purchase correct intent from the firm with out some of the insurance policies which will want proven that intent: a clearer non-product career ladder, compensation for all kinds of labor, and pay scale transparency. Belonging to this location of industrial, it seemed, became as soon as a story we all heard nonetheless no longer a actuality we all experienced.

Slogging By Crises

Lawful as we began conversations about enhancements, the pandemic struck. The drag industry, our industrial, cratered. Digital war rooms sprouted across the entire firm to generate fresh revenue, decrease costs, or tackle the avalanche of buyer service requests. Delight in prior launches, we pushed our service, our codebase, and ourselves to the brink. But as we burned to a crisp attempting to avoid wasting the firm, the founders announced that that they had no selection nonetheless to lay off all 500ish contractors and around 1,900 workers. The CEO cried on a broadcast that we foremost to voice goodbye to some of our Airfam and called on us to increase every other through this advanced time. “Lean on Me” by Bill Withers played on the cease of the published. I became as soon as worried, after which, with the rest of the Airbnb crew, I grieved.

In an generation of heartless pandemic layoffs, the general public yarn of Airbnb’s layoffs became as soon as one among crew like through exhausting times, proven by beneficiant severance packages and job hunting sources for laid off colleagues. I didn’t judge this yarn. This became as soon as Airbnb. It became as soon as a “unicorn.” I became as soon as sure that refraining from lavish lunches, canceling ski offsites, and elevating $1 billion from emergency mission capital investments became as soon as enough to back Airbnb afloat, so I grew skeptical that executives had regarded as the entirety in the funds when attempting to avoid wasting jobs. I became as soon as making nicely over six figures and volunteered to purchase a pay decrease, nonetheless became as soon as denied by Human Sources, and I saw sympathy nonetheless no motion from the multi- and deca-millionaires in leadership roles. Having experienced burnout from launches and having seen the inequities in my coworkers’ experiences, I spotted that the firm had continuously seen the Airfam as a line merchandise to decrease, even through its most bullish days. What proof became as soon as there that Airbnb – and its largest profiteers – would with out note prioritize us when its revenue became as soon as threatened? After the firm IPO’d in December 2020 at a valuation of $47 billion, the devastation of these layoffs became as soon as called “monetary discipline.”

Rapidly after the layoffs, the firm accelerated as soon as more to extra than one launches per year. Shedding one out of 4 colleagues left many teams understaffed. Essentially the most repeated advice became as soon as to “talk over with your manager in case your workload became as soon as too well-known,” nonetheless even the most supportive managers could well well no longer attach at bay in opposition to the head-down requires “to perform extra with less.” After every birth, my chums across the firm and I’d rating to allotment our frustrations. Our explicit issues varied reckoning on our role, nonetheless across the firm, we were demoralized by opaque career advancement insurance policies, bias in direction of non permanent results, and unsustainable workloads. Yet in every dialogue board, the estimable phases of leadership drummed “we hear you, nonetheless right here is correct the Airbnb manner,” as if we weren’t stakeholders in the Airbnb manner, as if having any issues became as soon as incompatible with belonging to the Airfam. With enough complaints, we would bag superficial concessions much like break day, a minute little bit of headcount, or a leaner roadmap, sooner than being hurled into the next birth. The cycle persisted as drag picked up, the inventory be aware popped, and the media praised Airbnb for its innovation and humanitarianism, as the entirety blared “we’re reaching the mission.”

The hollow reminder to “purchase care of your self” disbursed all accountability remote from these with resolution-making energy and onto every of us. But I calm internalized it. Half of a decade of hearing that I became as soon as empowered to form the tradition had burrowed into my psyche. As burnt out as I became as soon as, I worked even extra, clinging to this promise of acceptance, hoping that I could well well in a technique work myself into being enough. Attempting to meet relentless expectations, I erased myself. I lost all pleasure and self assurance in my talents as an engineer. I abandoned my spare time activities. I declined invitations from chums. I brushed aside companions. I spoke back to Slack messages all over a birth in preference to texts from my sister all over Typhoon Irma. I produced, produced, and produced, incomes extra promotions and reward, hyperventilating through dread assaults in the minutes between back-to-back Zoom conferences. I missed the somatic response in my physique, till, on the lowest aspects of my life, I regarded as ending it. To live to boom the tale, I made the heartbreaking resolution to leave Airbnb.

Strolling Out But No longer Away

I could well well luxuriate in left Airbnb sooner than things bought so unsuitable. But despite all that I seen and experienced, I surely cherished my job. I bought huge career opportunities, became as soon as privileged to produce wealth, and felt favorite by a passionate, intellectual, and supportive crew. This crew of workers, folk that cared for my nicely-being correct apart from-known as my work, kept me sustained. Each time I second-guessed my journey, anyone became as soon as there asking a courageous quiz or reaching out to me in an valid conversation, assuring me that I wasn’t alone. These conversations in flip helped me empathize with my coworkers and pull others out of isolation. Handiest on story of of this collective became after I ready to endure so long as I did.

There could be truth in our collective journey. For us to make a contribution our most efficient work whereas sustaining ourselves, that truth could well well calm be mirrored in our working prerequisites. Our belonging is counting on it. If the Airbnb manner is to brush aside this truth whereas extracting all it could perhaps perhaps per chance well well from us, then no longer easiest is it antithetical to the Airbnb mission, nonetheless it’s miles frequently fundamentally unjust. As stakeholders, we deserve accountability and systemic switch in preference to platitudes and concessions, and easiest by keen with every other in mutual honesty and admire can we chart how one can bag there. Per chance then, we are succesful of luxuriate in a location of industrial crew to which we surely belong.

My deep thanks to Tamara, Yindi, Danny, and the rest of the TWC E-newsletter crew. Thanks also to dear chums that helped me direction of and direct my experiences, and sustained me for the period of these years.